My New Alarm Clock
I cannot believe this. I am up and actually doing something and it's not even 9 yet. This never happens to me! It's a Christmas miracle! Did you know that you don't have to use an alarm clock if you know someone named Thomas? It's true. He is an alarm clock. Yeah, he looks kinda funny, too, cuz he's still a person. He's like an alarm clock/person. Strangest thing I've ever seen. Buttons and dials everywhere...
You can set him to go beep beep or you can set him to play the radio, though his musical selections are limited to *gasp* country. Or you can set him to just speak. He says,"Are you awake? Are you up? Are you sure?" He says it really loud, too. I wonder if he has a volume knob...
The Thomas Alarm System is a very handy one, indeed. You know on the mornings when you don't feel like getting out of bed because, well, you just don't feel like getting out of bed? Well, just activate your Thomas Alarm and it will wake you right up. The Thomas Alarm comes with built-in features like ANNOYING THE HELL OUT OF SOMEONE and MAKING SOMEONE VIOLENTLY ANGRY. It works, I tell you. I couldn't possibly roll over and go back ot sleep after that. I will tell you, however, it gave me violent tendencies when I used the Thomas alarm this morning. I was prepared to go down to the Thomas Alarm station and kick the crap out of the guy who owns this wonderful franchise. I didn't, but I wanted to. I guess that is just part of the Thomas Alarm System's ingenius. I mean, violent tendencies will wake you right up.
In conclusion, if you're looking for a new alarm clock because you sleep through the radio and/or the beeping, you should try a Thomas Alram. It's free too. That's the most important part. FREE!! Plus, he'll even throw in some free Skittles to sweeten the deal (get it? Sweeten the deal? I kill myself sometimes... lol). So, look no further friends. Visit no more Super Wal-Marts in search of that fancy alarm clock that plays cd's and chews your food. Just call up your friendly neighborhood Thomas and he'll wake you right up.
You can set him to go beep beep or you can set him to play the radio, though his musical selections are limited to *gasp* country. Or you can set him to just speak. He says,"Are you awake? Are you up? Are you sure?" He says it really loud, too. I wonder if he has a volume knob...
The Thomas Alarm System is a very handy one, indeed. You know on the mornings when you don't feel like getting out of bed because, well, you just don't feel like getting out of bed? Well, just activate your Thomas Alarm and it will wake you right up. The Thomas Alarm comes with built-in features like ANNOYING THE HELL OUT OF SOMEONE and MAKING SOMEONE VIOLENTLY ANGRY. It works, I tell you. I couldn't possibly roll over and go back ot sleep after that. I will tell you, however, it gave me violent tendencies when I used the Thomas alarm this morning. I was prepared to go down to the Thomas Alarm station and kick the crap out of the guy who owns this wonderful franchise. I didn't, but I wanted to. I guess that is just part of the Thomas Alarm System's ingenius. I mean, violent tendencies will wake you right up.
In conclusion, if you're looking for a new alarm clock because you sleep through the radio and/or the beeping, you should try a Thomas Alram. It's free too. That's the most important part. FREE!! Plus, he'll even throw in some free Skittles to sweeten the deal (get it? Sweeten the deal? I kill myself sometimes... lol). So, look no further friends. Visit no more Super Wal-Marts in search of that fancy alarm clock that plays cd's and chews your food. Just call up your friendly neighborhood Thomas and he'll wake you right up.
posted by Striped Tree at 8:47 AM
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2 Comments:
I don't know anyone named Thomas. So how do I get my own alarm clock?
Well, the alarm's name doesn't have to be Thomas, but it helps. Thomas' are the best kind. I'm sure anyone would do, though. Maybe you have a really annoying friend who is a pain in the ass?
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