Softball Part Two

I don't think I could have been more embarassed last night if I had shown up drunk in my underwear and started doing Polka at home plate. It was so awful.
Phil had me all over the place. First I played center field and I was okay there. Next inning,"Michelle! Second base!" I had NO clue what I was doing. It was so awful. He switched me to short stop mid-inning.
Third inning he put me as catcher and I totally screwed that up. I made a really good catch and would've gotten the guy out if I had been touching the plate! The other team was all,"Awesome! Great catch, Michelle!" I could have died.
Both times I was up to bat I struck out. The pitcher sucked. We played no walks and you started with one strike, so two strikes and you were out. So that was not working in my favor at all. IT was just awful.
Before the game Josh (a.k.a. Groovy Dude) asked me if I was single and would I like to meet his friend, Chris. "No," I said to the meeting friend part. Then Albert introduced me to everyone that wasn't there last week by saying,"This is Michelle. She's single."
"She's single because she wants to be," I told him.
Later he apologized, saying he didn't mean to offend me and told me that I could beat him up or something if I wanted to. I declined the offer, but I told him that I could beat him up if I wanted to. He said,"Ooh. So you do have some fight in you..." Hell, yes, I have some fight in me. I'm not a freaking door mat any more.
Then later when we were talking about the team colors and everything I said that I wasn't sure if I should be wearing red or what and Albert said,"No, you can wear whatever you want. Why don't you wear a red bikini next week?"
I said,"Uh, no."
He said,"Well, it was worth a shot," and shrugged.
Man, I tell you. I have never in my life heard anyone talk like he does (not in real life, at least...movies, yeah...). When he and Josh were talking before the game I just kind of stood there, open-mouthed thinking,"Holy shit!" First he was yelling at Josh for trying to chat up "his chicks," meaning Angel and me. Then they were talking about some other stuff I should not mention. Then as I was leaving Albert said something to Josh about a threesome. I had some really clever-ass remark planned, but Phil had pulled in and I didn't want to ruin my good-girl reputation in front of church folks.
Anyway, it was just really, really embarassing. I am totally gonna practice LOTS more.