Small Doses of Happy

The rest of this week has been much better. I spent the first half of my birthday fighting back tears as Mom and I went around town closing bank accounts, covering checks, and getting a new permit. I was just fine until Mom made me feel worse. I told her that, too, because she was telling me how I didn't need to get so upset. I told her that I was fine until I told her. She said that she needed to make it serious because I was laughing about it. I said,"Yeah, I was laughing so I wouldn't get upset!" I was trying to make it easier. Anyway, I got my accounts closed and opened new ones, went and payed cash at the Pet Store for the one check that hadn't cleared yet (the one for $6.66. I just can't get over that. It's too weird. Everything was fine until after I went to the pet store). I got a new permit and the people at the BMV were very helpful, even though I had to go home once to get more proof of my identity. It would suck to be an emplyee of the Bureau of Motor Vehices. I mean, you'd have to deal with people thinking you're a jerk all the time when you're just trying to do your job.
When we got home from doing all that stuff Dad said that the police department called. Someone found my stuff. So we went down to the sheriff's office and picked it up. I got everything back but my wallet and my bank card. So I was happy. I'm definitely not carrying all that stuff in my wallet all the time anymore.
When I got to work Lorri said,"Halt! Who goes there?" like she always does. I told her it was me and she said,"Hey, I dare you to do something..."
"Okay," I said. She dared me to go in the lounge and dial the library number and call in sick. So I did. At first Jan thought that I was joking, but I managed to squeeze out a few real-sounding coughs (I woke up with a sore throat and runny nose that day, too, so I really could have called in sick for real).
She was like,"But do you know what day it is?"
"Um...Thursday...I don't know. I feel like I've been asleep for three days. This medicine is making me feel a little wacky." Then they sang "Happy Birthday" over the phone. I walked up there a few minutes later. They were so mad. It was hilarious. Then they all sang again and pointed to the giant banner over the desk that said,"Wish Michelle a Happy Birthday!" So I had people telling me all night. It was kind of nice, though. I felt so loved. *warm glow*
I got all kinds of cool presents. Mom and Dad got me an MP3 player. It is oh so very awesome. It's like listening to a radio station with no commercials that plays all my favorite songs. They also got me those boots I've been coveting forever. Aunt Crissy even sent me some stuff. So that was nice. I had a really great birthday.
Then today around 2, Leesa called me from the library because they were having computer problems and couldn't reach any of the computer people. I zipped on down there and it took me like five minutes to figure out that they just had the user name wrong. So I fixed that and I felt really awesome. I mean, they called me because after Bonnie and Josh I'm the next best thing. It was cool. That totally boosted my self esteem. They were all stressing because they only had one computer up and Sundays are absolutely insanely busy.
So yes, I've had several doses of happy this week.

A String of Bad Luck

This has NOT been a good week. Not at all.
Monday was a bad day. I dropped a whole cart of books on myself and, of course, everyone came running to see what happened. That was lovely. I had about 50 million things I needed to do in addition to my regular work and I was too busy to do any of it.
Yesterday was bad. It started out with some little girls complaining about being tormented by a little boy half their size. He is a local trouble maker. The kid is only 6. He is allowed to roam freely wherever he pleases. He just lives down the street, so he's in the library every day causing all kinds of damage. I went over and asked him what he was doing and to please leave the girls alone so they could do their homework. He said he was bored, so I gave him something to do. I set him up at a table and brought him a bunch of movies to clean. I thought it was a great idea, but it turned out to be more work for me because I had to keep more movies coming and shelve the clean ones. Of course we were busy last night, too. Then something else happened that really pissed me off, but I emerged victorious.
Today I took my sisters to the library on our bikes so I could drop something off. We brought Meiko. I put him in my backpack purse. I had my wallet in my back pocket. When we got to the library I no longer had my wallet in my pocket. It was gone. We slowly rode home, looking around on the ground for my wallet. No luck.
When we got home I searched my room, wondering if maybe I didn't take it. Couldn't find it, so I took my scooter and went along the same route very slowly. Nothing.
When I got home I started bawling and I cried for a good ten minutes, bemoaning my bad luck. After I got over it I headed off on foot. I couldn't go alone. All the girls had to come, too. Hannah threw a fit because she wanted to go ALONE. I cried some more due to my extreme frustration and said,"Screw it! We'll all stay home and then someone will raid my bank account and take all my money. How 'bout that?" Hannah shaped up and we all went.
On our way to the library when we were on 8th St. I looked over on someone's yard and saw a piece of paper. I thought,"Hm. That looks like the scrap of index card that Zach wrote his phone number on. Hey, isn't that a bank receipt lying next to it?" There, on the ground, were some of the contents of my wallet. I found a paper (with a very important phone number), some bank receipts and the paper part of my permit. My wallet has a buckle on it, so I'm pretty sure that someone had to have opened it up and dropped its contents.
Then, Sarah, a girl I know from the library popped her head out the door of her house as we passed and said,"Um...what are you guys doing?" I guess we looked kind of funny scanning the ground and peering into drain holes. I told her what had happened and she joined us in our quest.
We walked to the library and found no more evidence. It wasn't all bad, though, because we got to hang out with Sarah for a while. She's really nice. She walked all the way back to our house with us. We were enjoying eachother's company as we looked. Then Emma informed me that Aunt Lori had called earlier while I was gone and was coming over with my birthday present at 5:30 and it was like 5:20, so we got home just in time. Sarah got to see where I live and I invited her to come over and go sledding sometime. It was nice. I always act so goofy around people, though. It's really annoying. I can't just be normal, I have to be funny. I suceded, but still. It's really annoying that I have to be funny all the time.
So yeah. That was great. It's my own falut, though. I should have known better than to stick my wallet in my pocket. These jeans are a little on the tight side and the pockets are small. I'm just really bummed because I had all my stuff in there. There wasn't any money, so that's good, I guess, but I stupidly carry my social security card and my bank card in my wallet, so now all is lost. I also had my permit in there, so anyone that looks kind of like me could easily access all my money in the bank (I don't have much, but I have enough to be really upset if it disapears). At least the people at my bank all know me. I think that it might send a red flag if someone went in and tried to drain my accounts, then the teller would be all,"You're not Michelle..." So that's good, I guess. If I was smart, which I obviously am not, then I would have called my bank and informed them. Oh but wait. It's Wednesday so they close at noon. I guess I couldn't have called even if I thought of it.
I'm just feeling really crappy right now. Tomorrow is my birthday and I'm not at all looking forward to turning 22. 22 and clueless. I don't know what the hell I want to do when I grow up and look! I'm grown up! It just sucks. I like presents, though. I already know one thing Mom and Dad are getting me. Dad was on the internet ordering them one day. He doesn't know about a thing called "History." I wasn't snooping, I just always look at the history. Survivor buffs. Cool, huh? Don't tell that I know.
Everyone at work is planning on embarassing the crap out of me. I'm contemplating calling in sick. When I went in today I told Brenda that I felt like I was coming down with something "Cough, cough....Ah-choo!" She didn't buy it for some reason. I'm just really not looking forward to listening to "Happy Birthday" the second I walk in. My face gets all red and everyone looks at me. It's awful.
But maybe tomorrow will be better than the rest of the week has been. Maybe the whole 666 thing will have worn off by then. I swear if that ever comes up as the total ever again I will just flee. Forget about buying anything. It's creepy, man.
Some good things have happened this week, too, but it always seems that the bad outweighs the good. Maybe I'm just a pessimist. I've always considered myself a "glass half-full" kind of person, though.

P.S. Dad found a possum in the garage last night and killed it...with a pitchfork. I don't like possums, but still. Why didn't he use his gun? That's just awful. I don't think it was the possum, though. I mean, if I were a possum and I like to eat little kitten I think that I would have eaten all of them. I wonder if it was Speckle. Maybe she's racist. The other kittens were black. Meiko was the only brown one like her.

My kitten

His name is Meiko. Hayley picked it and we all agreed that it was a spectacular name for a kitten. Meiko has a black "M" on his forehead, so we had to name his something that started with that letter.
He slept in my bed last night. I put his box next to my pillow, but he didn't want to stay there, so he crawled out and slipped under the covers and crawled down as far under the blankets as he could until he finally curled up and fell asleep. I barely slept at all last night, afraid that I would roll over him or something awful like that. I woke up around 3:30 and began feeling around frantically. "Oh no! I lost him!" I thought. I finally found him down near my feet and my heart rate slowed back to normal.
I figured that would be a good time to feed him, so I got out his bottle and fed him. He cries the whole time he eats. He cries the whole time he's awake. He cries a lot!
He's so tiny that he fits in the palm of my hand. It's really cute when he eats. He makes such a big mess, getting milk all over his face. He signals me when he's hungry by trying to tear apart my hand with the teeth he thinks he has.
Kittens are happiness.

Tragedy

This morning Emma went outside to feed the cats. Usually I do it first, and I wish I had gone out first today. She came running in, screaming, after a few seconds. "The kittens!!!"
When I entered the garage I saw the most horrible scene before me. Two kittens were dead, the other one was crying in his box. The kittens had been mauled by something much bigger than them. I have witnessed the deaths of animals SO many times, but this was worse than the worst one. The kittens had been ripped apart and partially eaten. One wasn't even recognizable. At first I thought that it was part of the other kitten. It was awful.
I don't know what it was that did that to them. We live far enough outside of town that wild animals roam freely. I hate to think that it was another one of our cats that did that. I have witnessed images such as this one where my cats have ripped small animals apart and left them for dead. I prefer the thought that a raccoon or possum did it.
I just wish that Emma hadn't seen it. That's the last thing she needs-those pictures in her head. I've had so many nightmares as a result of the things I've seen. Emma is much more sensitive than I am.
I brought the other kitten in the house to live. I don't care if Mom and Dad don't want another cat in the house. I'm not willing to let him die, too. I brought in his mother, Speckle, so that he could be fed, but she hissed at him and ran away. That causes me to wonder...But why would a mother cat do that? It doesn't seem logical. I threw her (quite literally) outside and went uptown to get some kitten milk. It took a while before the kitten would eat. I tried the bottle first, but he couldn't quite suck it. So I got an eyedropper and dropped some in his mouth every time he opened it to cry. He drank most of it that way and then cried for more. I think he'll be all right. He's a fat little kitten and very healthy. We haven't decided on a name yet. The suggestions have been Puss-in-Boots, Kiara, Kenya, Jeffrey, Chester, Suzie, and some odder sounding names. I don't know yet. The girls said I could pick, so I will think of a really good name for him...or her.

Oh and when I was at the store buying the kitten milk the lady said,"You're total is $6.66." Good thing I'm not superstitous. I should have bought something else though. It's kind of giving me the creeps now.

An Assortment of Really Bad Poetry

The First Poem

Behind a mask
Unseen by all
She cries inside
Behind her wall

She tries to speak
The words are stuck
She finds no peace
She has no luck

No one can see
No one can know
The way she feels
Nothing can show

The Second Poem

After the thought
After the dream
Comes so many things
What can they mean?

Who can understand
Who can believe
After the thought
After the dream?


The Third Poem

What does it mean
When they say good-bye?
What does it mean
When you forget to cry?
What does it mean
When you feel alone?
What does it mean
When your poetry sucks?
What does it mean
When you've run out of luck?
What does it mean
When you hear maybe?
What does it mean
When you feel like a baby?



Thank you. Thank you very much.

Humorous conversations

Two of my little friends came in today. I can't really call them little anymore. They're 14 now. Anyway, they came in and were asking me how my day was and such. Somehow the conversation shifted to what we wanted to be when we grew up. I still haven't decided what I want to be when I grow up. I told them of my biggest career aspiration. I want to be a rock star. They laughed. Can you believe they laughed at me? I really do want to be a rock star, but in order to become a rock star the first thing you must possess in order to achieve that goal is talent, something I am severly lacking. I can sing, sure. Anyone can sing. The only thing is that your voice must be pleasing to the ears of your listeners. That I don't have. I can play guitar. Yep. I know about seven chords (maybe more...), but in order to be a succesful rock star, you must be able to play well. Again, that is a talent I lack.
Anyway, I told the girls my plan and they asked why I didn't just become a librarian. I already know a little about it, they stated. Well, then I had a briliant idea. I could be a librarian/rock star. During slow times I could play and sing and then when someone went up to the desk and needed help I would jump into the nearest phone booth and quickly change from Rock Star Michelle to Librarian Michelle. Of course I would have to come up with a rock star name and a librarian name. Elle will be my librarian name. Any ideas for the rock star name? It has to be something really really cool and hot sounding. It's okay for people to think I'm hot when I'm a rockstar, but not when I'm a librarian.
I would have a cape like Superman. I could be SuperLibrarianRockStarChick.
Somehow the conversation strayed further and before I knew it we were all picturing me as a ninja/librarian. I would wander the streets, fighting crime at night. I could fly, too with the use of my cape. Well, not really. There would be ropes all over the library ceiling to support me and make it seem as if I was really flying.
Yes. I think that it what I will do. I will go to Library School and get an MLS and take private guitar lessons on the side. Good idea.

It was really funny when the girls were there. I miss them so much. They go to the church that I left last year. My favorite thing to do is to make them laugh. Today they were laughing so hard that the tears were rolling down their faces. It's a good thing we were slow today. I think I also entertained my co-workers.
Hey, there's an idea....I can be an entertainer.......

Money, money, money

Sorry about the last post and it's negative content. I am happy now.

I loaded my pockets with change today before I left for work. I owe about a bazillion dollars to the pop fund, so I thought I shouldn't wait until payday because I am already forgetting how much I owe. I walked in the door and began to deposit my change in the designated coffee can. The receptionist walked into the lounge and asked me what the heck I was doing. I told her about my debt. Then, she asked me for a dollar to join the lottery pool. I fished four quarters out of my pocket as she stood there laughing.
I have never joined the lottery pool before. No one has asked. I was thrilled to be a part (you may have already noticed that I am very easily excited), even though I don't believe in gambling. Well, I don't believe in going to casinos...and I wouldn't ever buy a lottery ticket on my own (Can you say "hypocrite?") because it is not really the smartest thing to do. Well, maybe it is if you are a very lucky person who wins everything.
Anyway, I added a dollar. Five tickets were bought. The Power Ball is up to $300 million. Wowza! I could use some millions of dollars. I have it all planned in my head....I would get about 14 million. I would give my parents 10 million. I would give Aunt Lori 1 million and I would give our old friend 1 million. That would leave me with 2 million. That's plenty. Do you know how many pairs of shoes I could buy with that much money? Dude, that's like A LOT of shoes.
Wait. Maybe 14 is too much for the 'rents. I mean, they couldn't possibly use it all in one lifetime. I am a lot younger...more to look forward to...hm...They would get at least 8. I would only need 2, so I would donate a whole lot to worthy causes like the library building fund and I would adopt a bunch of those kids that have the flies on their faces all the time, then I would buy some houses for kids to live in and buy some people to take care of them. They would be good people. I would quit my job, well, maybe not...I like my job...I could volunteer. I would volunteer all over the community and help all these kids that have nothing to do but join gangs and smoke pot. I would build a ginormous skate park and a roller rink and a 24/7 bowling alley and a gigantic ball pit and I would hire security guards to watch the kids because the parents obviously don't. Then they would love me and I would be their best friend. I love kids. I want to help them all and make them all happy. There are so many sad kids that never smile. I would buy a rollercoaster for them. They would smile. No clowns because clowns scare even me. *shudders*
That was a big-ass paragraph, huh? If none of this makes sense to you, well, that's okay. I'm just rambling. It's good to ramble every once in a while. It clears the mind.
I would buy horses for my sisters and I would make it to where everyone I know that wants to adopt a puppy or a kitten or a llama or a killer whale will have money to take care of them all the days of their lives. Doesn't that sound nice?
You know what? Money sucks. If only there wasn't such a thing this would be a happier place.

Yes, I Think I've Finally Come to My Senses

Yeah, I don't believe in dating. I think that it is very wrong for a man and a woman to be alone together. *shudders*
Blind dates are especially bad. You should never go out with someone you don't know! I mean, what a stupid idea, right? Shouldn't you get to know someone first before you date them?
It is especially bad to go on a blind date and spend THE WHOLE DAY TOGETHER! It's just unthinkable, don't you think? I mean, wow. That's bad. Dinner is sufficient enough time for a blind date, don't you think? You don't need to go out for lunch and then go to a state park or something and spend the day(you don't really want to get to know him the very first day, do you?). I mean, you might be tempted to hold hands or something. How sinful! Plus, he is probably planning on taking you into the deepest, darkest part of the woods to rape and then kill you, dumping your body in a place that it will remain undiscovered for five years or more, leaving your family no resolution to the mystery of your disappearance. It's just too scary and dangerous. This generation is much different from our parents' generation and we have much more to face these days. We must be wiser than our parents and learn from their mistakes so we don't have to make our own. Wouldn't it be just awful if we were left to our own devices and made mistakes of our own? How dreadful a thought! Imagine! Making mistakes!
It doesn't matter that the person who has asked you to go on a date with him is the son of a Conservative Baptist who would kill him if he tried anything. It doesn't matter how you feel. You must always do what's right. Doing what's right means doing stuff you don't want to do every day of your life and never saying one negative thing about it.
Oh and did you know that you shouldn't hang out with people who don't go to church? Yes, it's true. Even if you yourself haven't been to church in over a month and prior to that month went a whole year without listening to the Bible being preached in a formal setting. You must have very high standards. Oh and do you know what it's called when you don't go to church for a really long time? It's called "looking for a new church home." It's kind of ironic because you don't actually do any looking, but evidently to "look for a new church" you must sleep in until 10 on Sunday morning and then go to work later in the day even though you don't believe in working on Sundays. Weird, huh? But see, you have to work every Sunday and you just don't have time to go to church, do you? But you must not associate with other people who are "looking for a church." That's just wrong.

My Supposed Hotness

Josh came in the other day. The groovy one(not that the other one isn't groovy, so be not offended un-groovy Josh).
He was asking me how I was and everything and I told him I was sad that softball was over. I didn't mention the fact that my social life joined softball and is now over, too. He said,"Yeah, me too. You were getting really good."
Me:"Uh-huh. Thanks..."
Josh:"No seriously! You were awesome!"
Me:"Thanks, but you don't have to lie. I sucked!"
Josh:"Who's lying? Plus...you're freakin' hot!"
Oh geez. Why oh why? I again called him a liar and told him to shut up(I am getting much better with this whole assertive bitchy thing....not that I should be proud of being a bitch...but sometimes I am because I've spent the last almost 22 years being a doormat). The guy's like 30-something. He does have a way of making me laugh, though. [side note:Thomas there is nothing to worry about. My parents would like him even less than they like you, plus, I'm not interested.]
My face turned all red. I think that's why they do that. They like to make me blush. It's so annoying. If only that was sexual harrassment. It's not really though, is it? If he told me I had a nice ass (ha ha!!) then that would be sexual harrassment, right?
Anyway, it was annoying.
Okay, now I have to go do stuff before I get ready for work. Gr. Work. Actually, I like work. Last night I was SO bored that I went to the library. Yeah.

Meeting a Famous Person

I was just reminded of my experience last week that I forgot to write about........
When I arrived at the library I noticed a stranger on the computer (I know virtually everyone that comes in to use the computers every day). He was a thirty-ish, tall, good-looking man with dark-rimmed glasses.
As I was walking by to put some movies on the cart he looked up and said,"Hi."
I smiled and returned the greeting and turned away to finish what I was doing. He was still looking when I glanced back. "Um...do you need some help?" I asked.
"No. Just saying hi," he said. He totally gave me THE LOOK.
Then Mr. Jiang came in a little later. He's very chatty and likes to make friends. He began chatting with the stranger and asked where he was from.
"I'm from Atlanta," the man said.
"You from 'nother country?" Mr. Jiang asked.
"No. I'm from Atlanta."
"'Nother country?" Mr. Jiang asked, confused.
"No. At-lan-ta," the man said slowly.
Then one of my co-workers told Mr. Jiang that he was from Georgia.
"Oh. Georgia," Mr. Jiang said.
Anyway, when the man was done on the computer he handed me the key and I went to give his license back, but we didn't have it. I wondered why. Then the man started talking about what a nice town this is and how nice everyone is here, all the way smiling at me in THAT WAY.
After he left Jan said,"I think he liked you..." I asked her who it was and she said,"Peter Fletcher."
Duh! Peter Fletcher. He is a classical guitarist. No wonder he gave me that look. It wasn't THE LOOK after all. He was just shocked that a cultured library person such as myself had not recognized him. I would have been a lot nicer if I'd known it was him. Maybe I could have asked for some tips...I told Jan I should have been nicer and she said,"No, I think you were nice enough...." wink, wink.
The library had hired him to do a concert at the local retirement home (it's the nicest concert-holding place in town). You'd think I would have known it was him. I mean, his picture was only plastered on every wall and bulletin board in the place. He looked different in person, though.
So that's my only experience with meeting a celebrity, unless you count the time when we went to Channel 22 and got to meet Luke Choate, Debra Daniel, Amanda Harte and that one tall blonde lady that used to do weather. Mr. Choate looked just like Regis Philbin up close. The meteorologist was the only one of the women that was nice. The other two were really snotty. Debra Daniel was dressed in jeans and a dress jacket and during commercial breaks she would look in the mirror and put her feet on the desk. Amanda Harte walked by us when we were in the hall. She wouldn't let Mom take her picture. That was right after the big scandal with the cop she had been currently dating. I don't remember what it was...something happened at the mall with the cop doing something illegal or something, I don't know. But anyway she was really touchy. After the taping Debra shot right into the ladies room so we wouldn't bother her. It was a fun field trip. We got some good pictures.
We also got to meet Jack of Jack, Shannon and Bruce from Sunny 101.5.
We went to WNIT once, too and got to watch a taping of Outdoor Elements with Eve whatever her name was. She was nice. I think the show was about walnuts or something. We got to walk around the stage after the taping and then we were shown the ins and outs of the recording process. That was cool. I wanted to work in television after that field trip. Did you know that WNIT comes out of Elkhart High School? Yeah, they're studio is in the high school. Weird, huh?
And at 22 WSBT they had a really cramped studio. It was in this long building right in the middle of downtown South Bend or Mishawaka or wherever it is. It was pretty tight. We got to see inside one of their news vans.
Who says homeschoolers never get to do anything? We had the coolest field trips. We went to all kinds of places that were fun and or educational.

This is SO GROSS!!!

Look what I found at this website that Josh told me to go to.

CHOCOLATE AND CHOCOLATE LIQUOR
Insect filth(AOAC 965.38)
Average is 60 or more insect fragments per 100 grams when 6 100-gram subsamples are examined OR Any 1 subsample contains 90 or more insect fragments
Rodent filth(AOAC 965.38)
Average is 1 or more rodent hairs per 100 grams in 6 100-gram subsamples examined ORAny 1 subsample contains 3 or more rodent hairs
Shell (AOAC 968.10-970.23)
For chocolate liquor, if the shell is in excess of 2% calculated on the basis of alkali-free nibs
DEFECT SOURCE: Insect fragments - post harvest and/or processing insect infestation, Rodent hair - post harvest and/or processing contamination with animal hair or excreta, Shell - processing contaminationSIGNIFICANCE: Aesthetic

How sick is that?? Now I am totally just going to have to become a non-eater altogether. Too bad I'd die if I did that. How long can one survive off vitamins? Wait. There's probably gross stuff in vitamins, too!! Ugh!!

Go here if you want to be thoroughly grossed out: http://www.cfsan.fda.gov/~dms/dalbook.html#CHPT1

Eggs are gross

I have added eggs to my List of Things That I Will Not Eat Because of Their Origins and/or the Way That They Just Look Really Gross Before They are Cooked. I was making Hayley French toast for lunch because she is in this stage where she will only eat grains for breakfast and lunch and plus she doesn't like Hot Pockets. As I was preparing her meal I noticed how gross the egg looked, dripping off the bread like that. Just really gross and drippy and thick. Then I thought about how eggs come from chickens and how eggs are baby chickens. That grossed me out even further. I was nearly sick for about the ten millionth time this week.
Also on my list is honey. I can't eat it because of the way that the bees manufactured it. That's just gross.
I'd rather not eat corn (but I often do) because I've seen all the little worms that crawl into the kernels. That's really gross. I don't like the thought of eating dead worms or dead worm particles.
I still eat meat. I really like steak and hamburgers. My tolerance for sausage shrinks lower every time I see it. I can't eat chicken or turkey if I've seen it cleaned. That's just gross. I mean, you have this bird carcass sitting in your sink and you're like washing it off as if it's a baby. The whole reaching inside the bird and taking the gross stuff out really gets to me. Then you slather it with oil and seasoning, bake it and rip it apart, then eat it. That's so gross.
I watched this documentary about cows being slaughtered. I think cows are weird, but I don't want to eat everything and everybody I think is weird. That's just wrong.
I know God intended for us to eat all this stuff, but I'd rather stick to grass and leaves. But think of all the bugs! Bugs live in grass and leaves. You eat the grass and leaves-you eat the bugs. That's gross.
Meat is really disgusting. When I move out I will definitely become a vegetarian. My parents don't understand my disdain for eating things that used to be alive. They tell me it's perfectly natural. Yes, I guess so. But it's still gross!

Languages

Well, it's been a while, hasn't it? It doesn't really matter, though because only one other person actually reads this. Oh well.
I haven't written for a very good reason. I am trying to think of my reason for blogging and make my blog a topical one. This is just like a Seinfeld episode. It's a blog about nothing. And it's not even any nothing that is mildly interesting. I have written lists, I have written essays, I have written rants, I have written sadnesses, but none of this is good stuff. You know that one lady who got fired from what she wrote in her blog? I totally want to be like that. (Google Heather Armstrong. She's hilarious)
Well, I haven't thought of a topic to blog on. I could blog on Chinese. I could write about my attemps to learn the language because it is really awkward when the Chinese man and his son come in and argue loudly in their language and then they laugh. I want to know what they are saying!! I'm so nosy.
I took home a few "Teach Yourself Chinese" books. After about five minutes I decided that I am just not one of those people who can easily pick up a new language. I can say this honestly because I have also tried German, Hebrew, Spanish and French. I'm not good with languages.
We do have some interesting conversations, Mr. Jiang and I. Here's one we had the other day.
Mr. Jiang: "What you do when you go home at 8 o'clock?"
Me: "Um..."
Mr. Jiang:"You read books? You watch tv?"
Me: "Yes. I watch my sisters alot, too."
Him: "How old?"
Me: "12, 9, and 7"
Him:"I see...No boys?"
Me:"Nope. No boys."
Him:"What's your boyfriend's name?"
Me:"Oh I don't have a boyfriend..."
Him:"Why? Why you not have boyfriend? How old are you?"
Me:"21"
Him:"Why you not have boyfriend?"
Me:"Oh I don't know...I just haven't found one yet." It's much easier to say that than it is to go into the list of 59 reasons why I don't have and don't want a a boyfriend.
Him:"You find boyfriend here in Rochester?"
Me:"Um...maybe someday..."
Him:"You go to China."
Me:"No, I've never been there."
Him:"No. You go to China."
Me:"Oh. I should go?"
Him:"Yes. Go to China find boyfriend."
Me:"Should I?"
Him:"Yes. Lots of boyfriend in China. I help you. Go to China find boyfriend."
Me: "Um...maybe someday...."
Him:"I help you. You go? Yes? No?"
Me:"No...I don't really have any money right now."
Then the conversation was over. It was an interesting conversation, don't you think? Is it really that bad that I don't have a boyfriend? I mean, he wanted to take me to China to help me find one. Do I really look that desperate? Is it such a bad thing to be 21 years old (22 in three weeks) and boyfriendless?
I guess my family and friends aren't the only ones concerned about me.
I really like Mr. Jiang. He's very nice. He started teaching Chinese to whoever wants to learn. Maybe I should sign up. It would be cool to go to China. Plus, if I learned Chinese then I could have secret conversations with Jenn and Lena, cuz they're Chinese. Their parents run the restaraunt. I could go in there and order in Chinese.
Then after I learned the language I could go to China and have adventures.
Then I could learn French and go to France and see the Eiffel Tower and eat at an outdoor cafe.
Then I could learn British and go to London and meet the queen. We could have tea and crumpets.
Then I could learn Spanish and go to Spain and...do stuff. What do you do in Spain? I've never been there. Maybe I could become a great discoverer like Colombus or something.
Then I could learn an African dialect and go live in a remote tribe in the jungle and be like the Sean Connery in the Medicine Man, only I'd be more like the girl, cuz I'm a girl. Then I could eat ants and climb big trees and have a pet monkey or something.

Ugh. I really need to think of a topic...